Lillian Couturier

Lillian Marie Couturier, 90 of Traverse City passed away on May 25, 2016 at the Grand Traverse Pavilions. She was born on a farm in Crystal Falls, Michigan of Finnish immigrant parents, the late Charles and Marie (Kukkanen) Johnson on March 27, 1926.

Lillian (Lil) grew up in the rugged western Upper Peninsula mining town with her four older brothers and sister. She lived through the Great Depression and as for many of her generation, that experience shaped her character and how she lived her life. She and her family learned to "make do" through hard work and resourcefulness. Lillian's heritage was important to her. She was fluent in Finnish and English and wrote long letters in Finn to her parents throughout their lives. There was never a telephone on the farm to receive a long distance call. Lil was the secretary of her Senior Class graduating from Crystal Falls High School in 1944 at a time when only half of her classmates completed the full four years. She always valued education. Her class motto- "Build for Character, not for Fame".

Lillian's brother Reino, "Ray", enlisted in the Navy during WWII and was stationed in Traverse City shortly after she graduated. There were few opportunities for young women in her hometown at that time. She came to visit in the spring of 1946 and as Reino's wife, Aunt Lois said, "She never went back home". Lillian worked at Petertyl drug store at its original location on the south side of Front Street.

In 1947 Lillian married Edward K. Rokos. He later became a Captain in the Traverse City Police force. She was a homemaker raising their three daughters when he died unexpectedly in 1964. Widowed at 37 with three children to support she found a career in the Traverse City Municipal Treasurer's Office. She had a strong intellect for accounting; she was good with details. Lillian was proud of her tenure there. Over the years she often reflected that as difficult as those times were, had it not been for these challenges she would not have known how capable she was or achieved so much.

Sisu is a Finnish word that is not easily translated used to define the national character. To be a "real Finn" you must have such traits as tenacity, steadfastness, resolve, courage, and persistence toward challenges which at first seem to exceed our capacities. These defined Lillian's character as she faced hard times. She worked tirelessly to provide for her children. She attended to what mattered most and what would last. She understood the importance of order, structure, and routine to success and that yes, neatness counts.

Lillian could not support all her children through a college education but she did better than that. She set a good example and taught them how to stick with a goal and earn it themselves. All of her girls have advanced degrees – a fitting tribute to the lessons learned. Always frugal, in her later years she gave generously to her grandchildren for their education.

Lillian demonstrated care and concern for others who lacked means or suffered hardships. This included watching out for her sister-in-law, Aunt Lyla who had made many sacrifices of her own. Lillian's planning and diligence ensured Aunt Lyla had wonderful places to live and caring relationships with others until her death in 2003. Lillian unfailingly remembered birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. She took her grandchildren to swimming lessons, sledding, and to Disney World. She baked and mailed countless cookies for all occasions. If anyone needed anything, she was there.

Knowing first hand the working conditions of iron ore miners Lillian was a staunch union member and FDR Democrat – and she voted. It was through her union activities that she met her second husband, Noel "Bud" Couturier who was a chief officer of one of Traverse City's water plants. They married in 1970 and enjoyed 37 years together before his death in 2008. Bud became "Dad" to Julie, Lillian's youngest daughter and a much loved and respected father figure to all the girls and their husbands.

Bud was a physical fitness enthusiast and he and Lil enjoyed cross-country skiing in the Sand Lakes Recreation Area and as well as hiking many trails in national parks across the country. In their retirement they traveled extensively throughout the United States– from Isle Royal and the Badlands of South Dakota to the Grand Canyon and Mexico and from Maine to Hawaii. Both Bud and Lil appreciated the natural wonders of our country. They especially enjoyed a cruise on a working fishing boat along the Alaskan coast. They were frequent visitors to the California home of Merle and Mary Rokos. Military service was significant for both and a trip to Washington DC and the WWII monuments was one of their most memorable journeys. Whether traveling by train, car, ferry, or plane Lil loved to see the sights.

Lillian was a devoted member of Bethlehem Lutheran Church. She was also a member of the American Legion Auxiliary and a dedicated volunteer for the American Red Cross blood drives. With a strong sense of purpose she was committed to helping others whether counting Poppy Money for the Legion, staging Legion events, staffing a blood drive, or assisting a neighbor or friend. She continued her volunteer work as a resident at the Pavilions until her death. Many times Lillian sat vigils with residents as they made their final transition.

Lillian was attentive to us all and mindful to her last hours. She loved us and knew we loved her. She was secure knowing she had raised children who were successful and who carried forward her values. At the end she left us on her own terms with the same determination she confronted other hard things. She was at peace.

Lillian was preceded in death by her parents; husbands Edward and Bud; brothers Ocey, John, and Reino Johnson; sister Celia Aho; and son-in-law Jeffrey Nelson. She is survived by her daughters Sandra (Max) Bromley, Jean Rokos (Michael Spry), Julie Nelson; grandchildren Ian Spry, Lara (Gary) Lakies, Emily Nelson; sisters-in-law Margo Youker, Kay Brown, and Lois Johnson; brother-in-law Merle Rokos; and many nieces and nephews. She delighted in her great-grandchildren Aydin, Olivia, Nathaniel, Benjamin, Lillian her namesake, and Blake.

Lillian truly appreciated what others did for her and always acknowledged a kind word or deed. On her behalf the family wishes to thank her extended family members who came to her birthday and anniversary celebrations and called and sent cards and gifts over the years. Many times Aunt Lois brightened Lillian's day taking her on outings or errands. The family also wishes to recognize the staff at the Grand Traverse Pavilions for the care and affection they extended during her time on Cherry Unit. The family is deeply indebted to nurse Emilia Jablonski for her wisdom and counsel over the last five years. They are grateful knowing that Emilia comforted and prayed with her to help her through her final days.

A memorial service will be held at Bethlehem Lutheran Church on Saturday, June 25, at 11:00 am. The family will receive visitors beginning at 10 am. A luncheon will follow at the church. It was Lillian's wish that her ashes be scattered where her husbands have been laid to rest.

The family requests that any memorial contributions in Lillian's honor be sent to the Bethlehem Lutheran Church at 1050 Peninsula Drive, Traverse City, MI 49686 or the Grand Traverse Pavilions Activity Fund at 1000 Pavilions Circle, Traverse City, MI 49684.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and memories with Lillian's family at www.reynolds-jonkhoff.com .

The family is being cared for by Reynolds-Jonkhoff Funeral Home and Cremation Services.